Social well-being is an essential part of a happy, fulfilling life. The quality of our social life, and our relationships, affects our whole life after all. It has a direct effect on our health, our happiness, and our well-being. So it’s important to make sure that we’re as socially fulfilled and happy as we can be. 

Whenever we’re not feeling as socially happy and fulfilled as we could be, it might be helpful to take a step back to look at our lives, and see if maybe there are habits and actions we practice or neglect that may have a negative impact on our social well-being. And then find a way to fix or avoid these mistakes. Because often, feeling bad is an indication that something is wrong, so finding the root cause is key to fixing it. 

So let’s take a look at these common social self-care mistakes.

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7 common social self-care mistakes

1. Neglecting yourself and your needs

If you don’t take the time to reflect on your social needs and desires, and neglect yourself, this will inevitably impact your life and social well-being. So take the time to check in with yourself and pay attention. 

Fix:

Listen to yourself. Self-reflection is key. What do you need socially? More time alone? More time with people? To nurture meaningful and healthy relationships? And maybe try to do it regularly because your needs constantly evolve. 

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2. Not setting boundaries 

Not setting boundaries can often lead to discomfort, being overwhelmed and stressed. So always take the time to identify and set your limits, and share them with others. This can be tricky sometimes, but you deserve to respect yourself and communicate to people what is too much and uncomfortable for you.  So do not hesitate to set healthy boundaries and prioritize yourself.  

Fix: 

Communicate your limits. Decline if you have to. Always prioritize yourself and your well-being. Good people will understand – they’ll have no problem with you caring for yourself. And in case someone doesn’t respect your boundaries – this is a major red flag and you should pay attention to this. Do not ignore it. You deserve to have your boundaries and limits respected (just as you shouldn’t disrespect other people’s).

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3. Isolating yourself

Isolating yourself can have a negative impact on your well-being. While spending time by yourself is great to come back and connect to yourself while focusing on inner peace, spending too much time alone can lead to depression, solitude, and loneliness for some people. 

Fix:

Spend time with people you love. Or even just go outside to a coffee shop. Or volunteer. Go to places with other people (even if you don’t want to be social and interact with them). This is why I love going to coffee shops with a book. I’m spending time with other people, but without having too much interaction. 

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4. Comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is a natural phenomenon. However, there’s a point when much comparison crosses the too much line, and becomes noxious. Spending too much time comparing yourself to others can take a toll on your self-esteem and confidence. It can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. (Especially if you’re spending too much time on social media and or with shallow people.)

Fix:

Limit or step away from social media for some time. Unfollow the accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or inadequate or not good enough, and focus this time and energy on strengthening your relationship with yourself instead. Focus on all the things that make you unique, and that you enjoy and appreciate and love about yourself. 

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5. Avoiding conflict

Trying too hard to avoid conflict can and will lead to unresolved issues, inevitably. Yes, conflict is uncomfortable, and stressful, and even terrifying sometimes. But avoiding facing it now will not resolve the problems and issues, and will often make them worse in the long run. 

Fix:

Do not avoid conflict. Easier said than done for sure. But remind yourself that avoiding conflict now will lead to bigger unresolved issues later, and that discomfort now will lead to an easier tomorrow. 

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6. Ignoring signs of toxic relationships and red flags

Sometimes we’re tempted to try to see and focus on the good in people, while also turning a blind eye and ignoring the very real and very toxic signs people exhibit just because we want to believe they are better than that. Even if their behavior is showing the opposite. And sure, people aren’t all black or white, but some behaviors are red flags for good reasons. And in hindsight, when we look back, we notice all the red flags were there and we missed them.

Fix:

Look at people as they are, and not as you wish for them to be. Their current behavior is all the indicator you need. And okay, trying to see the good in people is nice, but not to the detriment of your safety and well-being. 

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7. Seeking validation from others

Just like comparing yourself to other people is a natural phenomenon, so is seeking validation. But here, too, there is a border between healthy, and too much. If everything you do is to seek and get external validation, you’ll get dependent on it.

Fix:

Focus on yourself. Focus on your own reactions and not others. Learn to embrace and be comfortable with a lack of validation from other people, and seek your own instead. (This is not easy to accomplish, but not impossible – and it is worth all the effort for the eventual freedom and inner peace and fulfillment you’ll get from this detachment.)

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Final Words

This is it for the common mistakes of social self-care. Knowing these is helpful to recognize and avoid engaging in those habits that can have a negative impact on our social well-being and happiness. 

Whenever you’re feeling down socially, or not as good as you could, maybe take a look at your daily life, and see if maybe you’re doing one of those things. These are all simple habits to fall into, after all. So simply notice if you’re doing something that might have a not-so-positive effect on your social well-being, and rectify it. 

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So that’s it.

As always, if you have any other tips or tricks about social self-care, and more precisely about mistakes and how to avoid them, please do not hesitate to share them in the comments below.

Have a nice day! And remember to give yourself a hug and take care of yourself.