15 Healthy Mindsets To Help You Navigate Life More Easily
A change of mindset is often the magical solution to our problems. So many times, the key to fixing a situation is simply to change the way we see and or respond to it.
Focusing on establishing healthy mindsets can transform our lives for the better. It changes how we approach problems and issues of all sorts, and especially how we react to them. What used to be insurmountable issues now become situations we can deal with more effortlessly, or at least, without struggling so much anymore – even when it’s particularly tough.
So establishing (and maintaining) healthy mindsets can often be the life-changing trick you’re waiting for.
The healthy mindsets on this list are the ones that have improved my life and helped me approach it in such a way that I don’t have to struggle so much with it anymore.
So here is my healthy mindset kit.
15 healthy mindsets to navigate life more easily
1. Failure doesn’t mean I’m a failure
Let’s start strong with this one. Failure doesn’t mean I’m a failure. This mindset is all about not identifying with failure when it occurs (which was really life-transformative for me).
There is a major distinction between thinking “I failed, therefore I’m a failure” – and “I failed, it only means I haven’t worked out how this thing is working yet”.
Also, not identifying with it means you get distance and space to get a proper look at the situation that you wouldn’t if you were doing it.
Which brings us to the second mindset:
2. Failure doesn’t mean you failed
Failure isn’t failure. If we jump to the conclusion that not succeeding means we’ve failed right away, we pass by an incredibly valuable opportunity for growth and progress. Besides, let’s not forget that failure is not a tragic end. Failure is an important part of success – it’s a step of the way. It’s inevitable. The key is how you react when it happens.
So whenever I’m doing something that doesn’t work or brings me the outcome I’m hoping for, I like to remind myself that I simply just haven’t found the right way yet, and this lack of success gives me information about what doesn’t work, and how to proceed better next time to come closer to my goals.
3. You can’t put yourself down into loving yourself
Putting yourself down and loving yourself are the opposite ends of the same spectrum. One doesn’t and will not lead to the other – on the contrary, one leads further down the opposite road.
I used to be so quick to put myself down, until it struck me – I’ll never love or embrace or even just accept myself as I am if I’m so prompt to put myself down all the time. So this one was a bit of an arduous journey. I had to really learn and integrate that self-love isn’t about perfection – it’s about embracing yourself as you are. It means being kind to yourself, and compassionate and patient because life is hard, and it’s natural to not be perfect and not have everything figured out.
And how liberating it was to realize this. And then implement it.
So if you’re struggling with loving yourself, remind yourself that self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about being kind to yourself, and patient, and understanding. (Besides, when we love other people, we don’t love them because they’re perfect, so why should we hold ourselves to these unattainable standards?)
4. Pushing yourself to your breaking point isn’t the right way
I approach this one like this: if something has a dire impact on my health, either physical, mental, or emotional – then it’s not meant for me. We only have a certain amount of time available to us, so why should we waste it on things that are toxic for our health and wellbeing?
If it costs us our mental, physical, and or emotional health, then it’s a big NO, no matter what it is, or how important it might be.
Loving and caring for yourself means respecting yourself enough to respect these crucial boundaries. It doesn’t mean that we avoid discomfort, but there are two sorts of discomfort. One that makes us grow, and one that destroys us.
Besides, treating yourself with kindness will always be more powerful than putting yourself down.
5. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good
I can’t remember the first time I came across this sentence, but I remember the huge impact it had on my psyche right away, then on my life. I used to be an unhealthy perfectionist. So much so that I never finished anything if only because I couldn’t allow myself to be anything less than absolutely perfect. There was no room for anything less (hello, lack of healthy self-esteem).
And this simple sentence shifted the axis of my whole perception in life. So this has become my mantra whenever I’m doing something over the last few years. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It only has to be good.
And a nice bonus is that now that I’ve stopped trying to reach perfection, I’m having way more fun in all the things I’m doing.
6. True belonging doesn’t require you to change – Brené Brown
Brené Brown is one of these people that I’ve read and had the most important impact on my life. No exaggeration. She just has a way of sharing these emotional, universal truths we all could be reminded of at some point in our lives – especially when we’re stuck and or spiraling down.
So here’s the full quote:
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to BE who you are.”
So simple, and yet so important to remain authentic and true to yourself, right? To not succumb to the urge to please others, and change to be more liked.
Whenever I’m losing myself, she’s always someone whose work I turn back to, and it never fails to help me reconnect to what is actually important in life, especially in healthy relationships and meaningful human connections.
7. Being alive is the special occasion
This one is about learning to enjoy and devour the nicest things today. Do not put away using things you love for special occasions. Being alive is the special occasion. It’s as simple as that.
One day you’ll be dead, and you won’t have used your favorite china, mugs, fancy pen, or whatever else it might be that you’re putting off using because you’re waiting for the right occasion. Today is the right occasion. You’re alive and you’re breathing. So now is the perfect time.
(I added this one to my mindset kit when an old woman I knew died without ever having used her favorite china she kept aside for a special occasion, and missed the window for using it when she could have enjoyed it in her everyday life instead.) So I’m not saying that you should necessarily use these bits and bobs of small joys every single day, but do not forget to treat yourself sometimes. Enjoy these little things while you can and make yourself happy doing it.
8. Do not put enjoyment aside for later until you get what you want
This one was a harsh lesson to learn, but also immensely liberating.
I have truly no idea if this one is just me, but I know that I used to push enjoyment to later until I got what I thought I needed to appreciate it. For example, when I suffered from severe rashes on my whole face for nearly a year, I struggled with enjoying both myself and life in general. Sometimes I’d want to go drink a latte at my favorite coffee shop, but I wouldn’t. I’ll go when my skin is clear, I’d think. And then I would just stay home being miserable instead, when I’d have been happier if I’d just gone anyway.
I was so focused on the result that I didn’t give myself permission to appreciate the life happening around me at the time.
And I realized that those cups of coffee and muffins I so desperately wanted wouldn’t taste better if I had clear skin. It’d taste the same, and I would’ve enjoyed it just as much.
So remember that coffee won’t taste better once you’ve lost weight, or have clear skin, or whatever else you think will make everything better. The moon won’t shine brighter, the flowers won’t be more colorful, or smell better then. It’s okay to enjoy life in the meantime before you hit your goals.
9. Find comfort in discomfort. Sit with discomfort and breathe through it.
Find comfort in discomfort. This one is a major life skill to master, and when you do, it’ll transform your whole life, if only because we have a tendency to avoid so many things because we’re avoiding discomfort. Sit with discomfort, be with it, and breathe through it. It is not easy, but it’s something you can learn, and it’s the key and solution to so many problems. So sit and breathe through it. It’s as simple as that.
To practice and master this skill, I feel like intense workouts and cold showers are great tools to help – they’re not comfortable, but still easy enough to endure.
And over time, practicing these two habits certainly made it easier for me to sit through uncomfortable situations without getting overwhelmed, and even getting the upper end at times.
I’m still not sure if this is really a mindset, but considering is it rooted in a certain mental attitude, I still keep this one in my mindset kit.
10. Never go against your gut feelings or instinct
My gut has never failed me – however, discrediting and not listening to it almost always did. So let’s say that I have definitely learned this lesson the hard way.
Our gut is our inner compass. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s wise to listen to our gut feelings.
How many times have you regretted not listening to your gut? Have you wished you’d listened to your gut feelings instead because it could have helped you avoid uncomfortable situations? Because I have, repeatedly, until the lesson finally stuck. So yes, listening to your gut and instinct is important, and usually the correct choice.
11. Childlike wonder is powerful
People are so prompt to deride and mock childlike wonder (especially cynical and blasé people – I’ve had too many experiences to prove this sad fact) and yet it’s the magical ingredient for a happy life. Childlike wonder nourishes your soul as little else can. It helps us connect to the world around us, and embrace its beauty and magic.
And sure – life is hard. But this is not a reason to abandon our innate sense of wonder – on the contrary. This is the best reason to cultivate it anyway, especially in the face of difficult times and challenges.
During the most difficult and painful time of my life, cultivating this sense of wonder is actually what saved me. I refused to let this pain get the best of me. And while I felt like I was losing myself to pain and grief and powerlessness, I made the effort to focus on the beauty of the world around me. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that doing this saved me. Because it did. I had to give room to my pain, but not only, I also had to give room to the beauty and joy of life. If I’d only focused on the horrendous stuff happening, it’d have consumed me whole.
So don’t forget to pay attention to all the beauty and joy and kindness around you. It exists, if only you remember to look for it.
12. Someone else is doing it wrong right now and with confidence
When you feel like you can’t do something, it’s easy to succumb to insecurities. But when I do, I really like to remind myself that right now, somewhere out there, many people who are doing it, or have done it, wrong and worse than I do, and with much more confidence.
This one is really a magic trick because suddenly I don’t feel so insecure anymore. I might not be the best, or even particularly good at it, but it doesn’t matter because there are people definitely worse at it than me, and it doesn’t stop them.
13. Small joys are just as important as big joys
People (me included) like to focus a lot of their attention on big goals and big joys – which is great, don’t get me wrong – however I feel that sometimes these big things overshadow the little things that make daily life happy. It’s just as important to pay attention to all these small joys as well. They’re just as essential in life.
If I had to name the best advice I’ve ever gotten, it would be this one from agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks:
“Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”
This doesn’t mean overindulging or treating yourself with things that cost money every day – it’s more about treating yourself to these small joys and simple pleasures, like a warm cup of coffee on your couch at the end of the day, or a nap, or a hot bubble bath, or whatever else that makes you enjoy life.
14. Hard doesn’t mean impossible
Hard doesn’t mean impossible – it just means hard. And it’s important to remember this, especially when we’re deep in the trenches and feel like we’re losing it when faced with what can appear as insurmountable tasks. It is hard, yes. But it is also possible, if only we give it time and effort.
Something else that I also like to do is to see these difficulties as challenges instead of a problem. Then they become an opportunity for growth and progress.
Besides, I find it more motivating, because then it feels like I’m on a quest. And who doesn’t love quests?
15. Taking your time doesn’t mean wasting your time
This specific mindset is one I keep very close to myself whenever it takes me more time to do something than I initially thought. Sometimes, you take months doing something you thought would be done and over within a couple of weeks – and oopsie, months later and you’re still not done and right in the middle of it.
I used to self-flagellate for this. For wasting time whenever this happened – until I realized one day that I wasn’t actually wasting time – I was just taking my time letting these ideas and projects grow.
Also, I’ve noticed that whenever I’m not rushing with something, and let it percolate and develop and grow at its own pace, the result is always way more accomplished and successful than it could have ever been had I rushed and forced myself to go faster.
Some things just take time, and it’s perfectly okay. It’s how nature works, after all. No need to rush – we can let the road be slow and peaceful.
Bottom Line
So many times, the simple solution for problems and issues is to simply change our mindset and perspective. Truly, a change of mindset is truly a magic trick in many cases. A different approach is sometimes all you need to overcome a difficult situation.
So here’s the end of my healthy mindsets kit. I hope you found at least some of them helpful. Please don’t hesitate to share your own healthy mindsets in the comments below.
As always, I hope you have a nice and comfortable day, and remember to be kind to yourself.